子弟有四不問 Lads Have Four Things They Ought Not Ask About

The very essence of romance is uncertainty - Oscar Wilde

The atmosphere of the Ming brothel is one that thrives on theater. As we’ve seen in previous sections, it has its own set of rituals, roles, and rules, all of which help maintain the parallel society of the brothel. As long as everyone plays their part, the play goes on, and the pretenses are alive and well. The biggest risk to this production is of course: lads asking the wrong questions! And so we have The Four Things that Lads shouldn’t be looking for behind the curtain.

(一)不问好 Do Not Ask If She Is in Love With You

姊妹相交，好共歹自己知道。開口問他，笑你是個雛嫖，全沒分曉，賣藥的好說藥無效？因此上說不稂不莠的話兒，做不全然的圈套。只緣問錯了，吊出也假好。

(一) 不問好

Only she truly knows whether she has good feelings for you or not, if you ask her directly, she’ll laugh at you for being naive, like a clueless fool who doesn’t understand how thinks work. Would a medicine seller tell you that their remedies don’t work? That’s why you’ll only get vague and avoidant answers and awkward, half-hearted responses, just because you asked the wrong question - even if you forced out an answer, it would be a fake, polite reply.

This first question gets to the heart of the problem immediately - is the brothel a place for love? While courtesan and client both may know deep down that it isn’t - there is a reason why efforts are made to keep the atmosphere amorous and not transactional. Asking this question directly puts the courtesan in an awkward spot - she either has to shatter the illusion or opens a can of worms otherwise.

I also want to highlight the medicine seller analogy - this is a common comparison of the period. Consider the following passage from the preface of The Carnal Prayer Mat （肉蒲团）from the early Qing:

世上之人若晓得把女色当药，不可太疏亦不可太密，不可不好亦不可酷好。未近女色之际，当思曰“此药也非毒也胡为惧之。”既近女色之际，当思曰 “此药也非饭也胡为溺之。”

"If people in this world understood how to treat feminine allure as medicine—neither keeping it far away nor overindulging, neither shunning it completely nor becoming obsessed with it—they would find balance. Before approaching such wiles, one should think: 'This is medicine, not poison—why fear it?' And when indulging in it, one should reflect: 'This is medicine, not sustenance—why drown in it?'"

In another related case, the American poet Ezra Pound’s translations of the Book of Odes (诗经) inadverently uses the same analogy by accident, in the poem Zhenwei 溱洧:

维士与女，伊其相谑，赠之以勺药 Then the lads and the girls / Take their pleasure together / And the girls are given a flower as a token (Marcel Granet’s translation)

Whereas Pound, who was not literate in Chinese, hung on the character 药 (medicine) in 勺药 (peony) and translated the passage thusly:

Playing there, girls and men / Prescribe this mutual medicine

(二)不問人 Do Not Ask About Her Other Clients

勾闌觀上紅裙意欲親近，莫問有人沒人自討分寸。合他意，明明有客說無人；不中意，將無作有何對問。諺語云，小娘愛俏鴇兒愛錢。有與無，雖向媽兒口里討實信。

(二)不問人

If you see a beautiful lass in the brothel and want to approach her, don’t ask if she has other clients, judge the situation properly yourself. If you tickle her fancy, she’ll say she’s available even if she has other clients. If you don’t suit her tastes, she’ll claim she’s busy even if she’s alone. As the saying goes, “the lasses love charm, the madam loves money”. Whether she’s truly free or not, you’re at the mercy of the madam’s directives.

This one is closely related to the first question as it also revolves around the unsaid preferences and thoughts of the courtesan. Here, the narrator suggests that courtesans will make time for clients whose company they enjoy and seek to avoid those who they don’t - even if ultimately it’s up to the madam to decide.

Regarding the saying quoted, it’s unclear how widely believed this trope was of the courtesans swayed by charm and the avaricious madam, but there is an excellent inversion of this trope in the Stephen Chow 1994 film Hail the Judge 《九品芝麻官》where the courtesan Ruyan 如烟 plays a kind and understanding character to Stephen Chow - up until the point where she realizes he has no money.

“How dare you come to Fenglai House with not even a single cent in your bag?”

(三)不問了 Do Not Ask About Completion

雲雨之歡，盡吾之興，他事完否，何湏盤問？你在此處用情，假妝答應。口呵風，舌尖冰冷。屏住氣，滿面發紅。喘嘘唧噥，銀海朦朧。這些是哄他，能有幾點靈犀，個個泛應。

(三)不問了

In the throes of passion, why pry about desire or ask if I have finished? You play the lover and I reciprocate with theater: whispered sighs, kisses cool as dew, held breath, cheeks flushed, panting murmurs, eyes glazed - all of this to fool you. What shred of true connection exists? Every move is a rehearsed act.

This was a very challenging one to translate, not because of the content, but because of the shifts in pronouns - from 吾 to 你 to 他. I have translated this in the only way I think the pronouns can align to the message of the section.

Ming China’s understanding of orgasms had at least advanced past Hippocrates, who posited that women always finished before or at the same time as men - and that it was impossible otherwise. With the understanding that these two events could be separate occurences, the question relates back to male pride, famously illustrated in the restaurant scene of When Harry Met Sally. It wasn’t enough for the man to take his pleasure, he also derived additional pleasure/pride from knowing that it was a mutual thing - thus, some clients were direct enough to ask. It’s this desire that Shen Hongyu rebukes quite harshly here, with as vivid imagery of faking it as we’ll likely find in imperial Chinese literature.

To add more to the point about male pride, consider this passage, also from The Carnal Prayer Mat, chapter 10：

又翻天倒地干了一阵，艳芳就紧紧搂住道：“心肝，我要丢了。你同我一齐睡罢。”未央生要骋本事，还不肯丢。艳芳道：“你的本事我知道了，不是有名无实的。如今不肯住手，弄了一夜，抵敌了两个妇人，也是亏你。可留些精神明夜再干。不要弄坏了人，使我没得受用。”未央生见她这几句话说得疼人，就紧紧搂住，又抽了一番。两个才一齐完事。完事之后，不曾说几句话，天已将明。艳芳怕他出去迟了被人看见，只得催他起来，自己也穿了衣服，送他出去。

After another bout of passionate entanglement, Yanfang clung tightly to him and gasped, "Darling, I'm about to finish. Come lie down with me now." But the Before Midnight Scholar, eager to prove his prowess, refused to relent.

Yanfang murmured, "I’ve seen your skill now, it’s no empty boast. Even so, if you keep this up all night, after already conquering two women, you’ll wear yourself out. Save some strength for tomorrow. Don’t ruin yourself or leave me with nothing to enjoy."

Her words, tender and considerate, stirred him. He held her close and thrust with renewed fervor until they climaxed together. Afterward, they barely had time to whisper before dawn approached. Fearful of being seen if he lingered, Yanfang urged him to dress. She pulled on her own robes and quietly escorted him out.

While the Before Midnight Scholar might not have been every male client’s role model, the passage does speak to the general idea that female orgasms are the result of male prowess and not mutual connection or mutual ability - an idea that’s persisted all the way to modernity.

A few other assorted notes on this section: “kisses cool as dew” refers to the common practice of courtesans using 冰片 (mint like herbs) to make their kisses "清凉如露" (cool as dew).

This section also cites Li Shangyin’s poem “Untitled” below to mock the lack of a “thread of connection” between the two:

身无彩凤双飞翼，心有灵犀一点通。

Though we lacked phoenix wings to fly as a pair / Our hearts shared one unseen thread of connection

(四)不問隣 Do Not Ask About Other Lasses

嫉妒之心，人皆有之，衏院姊妹，尤是深忌。你在他處探問鄰美，縱出奇怎薦舉？
恐怕你有意，只得佯為不知。問這話分明稚子。你又不是沒腳的，何苦在他面前討口氣？

(四)不問隣

Jealousy exists in everyone's heart, but among lasses of the brothel, it runs especially deep. If you go asking about the beauty next door - no matter how extraordinary she might be - how could they possibly praise her? They surely guessed your intent, and so they feigned ignorance. Asking such a question just shows your naivety. You’re not helpless - why go out of your way to provoke them so?

A straightforward one to close the section out - of course courtesans have no incentive to recommend other courtesans, particularly ones of a different brothel. Of the four questions in this section, this one was the hardest to imagine - why would any client think it would be a good idea to ask? It’s not hard to guess at the motivations for the previous three, but this one seems to be pure naivety. Here I would highlight the closing admonition - which holds true for most human interactions, "why go out of your way to provoke them so?”